Certainly, we are called to speak what is true and not lie. But just because something is true doesn’t mean it’s wise or helpful to share. It takes maturity to know how to wield truth in love.
For instance, when our wife or a friend finally makes an effort of goodwill toward us, we might make a comment on their timing or in a way that drives home the point we’ve been trying to get them to see.
On the one hand, what we say might be technically true. And these might be needed considerations to make as well. But it’s unhelpful when it’s simply to prove our point or to otherwise show the other up.
While we might hide behind “only saying what’s true,” it’s our pride that’s often running the show. Our speaking truth in this moment is serving more as a subtle attack on the other rather than seeking a genuine connection and peace with them. And because we’re often blind to our motivations, we’re often surprised when the other takes offense to our simple statement of truth. Our pride sneaks a landmine into our true statements causing it to blow up in our faces.
Of course, the point here is not to hold back and just pretend everything is okay when it’s not. It’s not loving or helpful to merely tell others what they want to hear. And sometimes the truth stings. But this truth should be motivated by love and not our desire to keep a clear accounting of the wrongs done by the other.
In the end, be willing to say what’s true whenever it fosters love and brings good to others. And be willing to keep your mouth shut when it doesn’t. Just because something is true doesn’t mean it’s helpful to say.
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