Of course, we want to do the right thing. And even more so when we’ve been on the receiving end of the bad choices made by others. We make a commitment not to be like them, which is generally well meaning and good. But all too often we focus merely on surface behaviors and miss the deeper heart issues.

For example, we might make a vow to never divorce after witnessing and experiencing the pain of our parent’s infidelity and subsequent divorce. And at first blush this seems very reasonable. But we must also consider the different levels of the commitment we’re making, or, perhaps more accurately, the heart behind the commitment.

For instance, many stay married, but their marriage reflects nothing of the life, goodness, and oneness God intended. It’s like a whitewashed tomb – boasting outwardly about the years of their legal union while being dead inside.  And they feel like they’ve satisfied their commitment to stay married and not divorce.  But however true on the surface, this mere technicality of marriage misses the weightier matters.

Ideally, the pain of our parent’s divorce would motivate us to commit to true faithfulness in our marriage. As such, the point is not simply to not divorce, but to commit to doing our part to consistently move towards God’s best for our marriage. The focus is on the heart we bring into our marriage and not mere legalities.

True faithfulness allows our marriage to flourish while also reducing the risk of divorce. But simply not divorcing can keep us trapped in a dead marriage while pretending we’re doing the right thing.

In the end, true faithfulness is greater than mere legalities. Don’t just look good; be good.

Photo by Yan Krukau on Pexels