Our sexuality tells a story – making many invisible realities visible. And every good story has layers of meaning. Things are not always as they appear on the surface. And this is certainly true when it comes to our sexual desire.
To be sure, there’s a level of our desire that’s primarily physical. God has designed our bodies to crave sensual touch and erotic delights. And this bodily desire might often be on the forefront of our minds when our sexual energy surges. We’re horny and longing for sexual release.
But we’re also relational beings to our core. And sometimes what we experience as sexual desire actually has little to do with the physical act. We’re longing to know and be known in the presence of another, namely our wife, which makes merely scratching a physical itch in these moments ultimately unsatisfying. There’s a level of our desire that can only be touched through relationship.
And yet there might be moments in which we’re completely satisfied relationally with our wife and still find ourselves wanting something more. This is the layer of the transcendence. Sex is a spiritual experience that gives us a glimpse of heaven and basking in the joy of God’s presence. While there are hints to this throughout our physical and relational desires, as well as our various fantasies, this desire cannot be satisfied through any one thing. It’s a desire for the infinite God and the eternity he’s placed in our hearts.
Appreciating these levels of desire allows us to give each its proper due. For instance, we might compulsively chase a physical buzz without realizing it’s a deeper relational connection we actually desire. Or we might be tempted to pursue a relationship outside of our marriage when we fail to realize the more we’re looking for is the transcendence of God, and not another person.
In the end, there’s often more to our sexual desire than merely a desire for sex. Discover the deeper relational and even transcendent desires also present.
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