We all want to be wanted. And this is a desire that runs deep even from birth. Beyond being merely tolerated or cared for simply out of duty or obligation, we long for someone to see, to know, and to fully receive all that we are. And we’re left wounded and vulnerable when this is not the case.
To be sure, even as young kids there was a part of us that wanted to know our parents delighted in our presence. While it was their job to provide for our basic needs and discipline us, we still wanted to know we were deeply loved and wanted by them. And their willingness to enter our world is often what communicated this to us, or not. Yes, there was joy in being invited into their world, but their desire for us was demonstrated at a deeper level when they took the time to engage with the things that mattered to our heart.
And in many ways we’ve brought this desire into adulthood as well. For instance, this is typically a desire we bring to marriage. We want more than our wife’s obligation of love; we want her passionate desire for us. And again this is usually demonstrated by her willingness to enter into our world and care for the things that matter to us.
Of course, like with our parents, this desire might be distinct from friendship and the desire for someone to join us in the adventure itself. It’s more about the intimacy of allowing ourselves to be naked and without shame in each other’s presence. It’s the affirmation that someone wants to know us fully for our own sakes.
And it cuts deep when we’re surrounded by people who just tolerate us, however kind and benevolent they might be otherwise. Evil will often take advantage of this wound – masquerading as an angel of light and seducing us with forbidden fruit that seems to be the perfect answer to this deep void within. And we’re quickly taken out when we’re unaware of just how deep this desire goes.
In the end, honor your desire to be wanted and fully known. This allows you to pursue and stay open to God’s love without being seduced and taken out by evil.
Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash
