Boyhood is a magical and adventurous time of freedom and joy, without the weight of responsibility. It is a season to be enjoyed to the fullest, but there also comes a time for growth and maturity. And we need mature men to show us how to accept responsibility without losing heart. This was the tragedy of Peter Pan.
On the one hand, Peter embodies the unbridled adventure, playfulness, and freedom that are crucial to our development. But maturity also requires us to balance these with a deepening commitment, responsibility, and relationship with others. While Peter enjoyed and regularly sought out female companionship, he resisted their call to grow up. He wanted their attention and comfort, but only to the extent he could remain a boy forever.
The tragedy in Peter’s story was that he never grew up. And this can be traced back to a lack of masculine initiation. While Wendy calls him to grow up, she cannot initiate him into manhood. And without a good father figure to show him how to be both mature and playful, Peter is stuck in an endless boyhood. Hook is cruel, tyrannical, and controlling, while Mr. Darling is weak and detached. Neither of these men are equipped to help Peter find his way. Is this our tragedy as well?
Like Peter, do we seek out the feminine for her beauty, comfort, and pleasure, while resisting commitment and the burden of a deeper relationship with her? Are we too surrounded by frustrated women who want us to grow up but without fathers to show us the way?
Rather than resigning ourselves to an endless boyhood, we must expand our vision of manhood. Maturity and responsibility doesn’t mean we must give up our joy, adventure, and passion. In fact, as it has been said, you should never give a sword to a man who cannot dance. But more than a vision, we also need a few good men to show us how it’s done.
In the end, enjoy the thrills of boyhood without falling into the tragedy of Peter Pan. Find the men who will show you how to mature without losing heart.
