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We live in a fallen world and no one makes it through without being wounded. But this doesn’t mean we should play the victim by constantly blaming others or otherwise making an idol of our wounds. Part of our growing in faith and maturity also includes a willingness to heal – to forgive and let go of the blame however justified.

On the one hand, we don’t have to pretend we’re not hurt when someone offends us or causes us pain. Our wounds matter and should be acknowledged. This helps bring attention to the areas in need of improvement

At the same time, we should bring a will-to-heal to our wounds. This is simply a willingness to put the blame behind us and move forward. We get stuck when we feel the need to hold on to our wounds with a righteous indignation. We keep bringing up the past regardless of the efforts made to make amends.

Perhaps we’ve been seduced by the power we seem to have by keeping others in our debt. Or maybe we’re projecting onto the latest incident deeper wounds that have not yet been addressed. And so we hold onto the blame today as a way to justify and appease the lingering wounds from yesterday, which, in turn, just fuels the anger and resentment growing inside.

In short, the will-to-heal is simply the practice of forgiveness. We’re willing to erase the debt owed to us and allow our hearts to find their way toward peace again. All the same, this is a journey. And our willingness simply says we’re open to taking that first step.

In the end, don’t hold onto blame and let your wounds fester. Practice a will-to-heal and discover the true freedom and peace your soul desires.

Photo by Nqobile Vundla on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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