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Naturally, we tend to like the benefits of growth more than the process of growing. We want the end results more than the struggle to get there. But we must allow for the struggle in order to move toward our best.

It’s hard watching someone struggle when we have the power to save them. But saving them might not be in their best long-term interest.

For instance, it’s tempting to just pick up a baby when he’s crying and frustrated because he hasn’t figured out how to use his body yet. But it’s through the struggle that he learns and develops.

So while picking him up might make everyone happy in the moment, this “help” also delays his maturity and ability to figure out how to stand on his own two feet.

And this is true throughout life.

We don’t help our kids by doing their homework for them or by bailing them out of every financial hardship.

Likewise, it’s not helpful to lower standards of excellence to make it easier for workers or to walk around on eggshells merely to keep our family and friends comfortable.

In each of these cases a healthy suffering is needed in order for individuals to rise to the occasion and become the best version of themselves.

And while this is generally easier to see in others, we must be willing to submit to this necessary struggle of development as well.

There’s no expectation for us to figure out life on our own. But it remains our responsibility to discover how to stand on our own two feet.

And this journey requires much endurance through dark nights and wrestling through deep work to discover all that God has for us. And as a good Father, God will not “save” us from this struggle.

It’s through the struggle we gain the necessary strength to make a meaningful impact throughout the world around us.

Allow for struggle. This is often the path toward better.

Photo by Aldiyar Mirzabayev on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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