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We’re generally taught to be very driven in life. It’s up to us to pursue, tackle, and accomplish whatever we desire and set our minds to. And certainly there’s a place for this. But there are also many times in which we must learn the wisdom of yielding and receiving.

Partnered dance, for example, requires learning the art of back and forth rhythms. There’s a time to step forward and a time to step back.

It’s not much of a dance if we’re always moving forward or always moving back. We find grace and joy in the back and forth cadence.

And this cadence is needed throughout our life and relationships as well.

For instance, we naturally pursue an individual we want a closer relationship with. And, it’s true, without this initial step toward the other the relationship will likely never be formed.

Someone has to start the dance.

But there also comes a point in which we must step back and yield – allowing the other to come toward us.

This is not running away or playing hard to get. But it is allowing for the natural ebb and flow of the relationship to take place.

The relationship doesn’t have a chance to breathe when we’re constantly pursuing. What might seem romantic at first eventually becomes demanding and suffocating. 

On the other hand, as we learn to yield, we create the space for the other to lean in and also offer themselves. And this allows for much needed breathing room.

In the end, yielding is not a passive position. It’s actively creating the space to receive each other.

But we need this back and forth cadence for our relationships to truly thrive. Without it they quickly deteriorate.

Discover the back and forth of your relationships and enjoy the dance.

Photo by Preillumination SeTh on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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