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Everything doesn’t need to be said. Even when something is true, it’s not always helpful. And wisdom reminds us to bite our tongue often and speak only what advances the cause of love.

Especially when someone has offended us we seek to find that stinging comeback to put them in their place.

And many other times we also struggle to tolerate someone’s ignorance or mere difference of opinion. And we feel like it’s our sacred duty to educate them.

Likewise, we’re often quick to let someone know whenever they fail to meet our expectations or standards of taste.

The question here is not about what is factually true, but rather what is helpful and kind to say – not disregarding truth, but speaking the truth in love.

Pride motivates our words when love is not the guiding principle. We speak to make ourselves feel better and not to care for and build up the other.

Are our words spoken merely to get something off our chest? Or, are they words of life and goodness?

This is not to suggest we don’t speak up and name hard things. Again, the filter and standard is love, and love doesn’t remain silent when active goodness is called for.

At the same time, we must constantly consider if our words are promoting love or just our own egos.

There’s truth to the adage that if we cannot say anything good, it’s best not to say anything at all.

Keeping our mouths shut is often the most loving thing we can do when we want to speak impulsively.

Thoughtless words not tempered by love bring much harm.

Bite your tongue before speaking too quickly. Filtering your words through the standard of love is a blessing for everyone.

Photo by Ocean Biggshott on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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