Naturally, we look for the quickest possible solutions to our problems. And many times we do make issues more complex than necessary. But often we’re also tempted to bypass the inner work needed – settling for mere surface solutions that leave us ultimately dissatisfied. There are certain issues we can’t go around, we can only go through. 

For instance, simply starting a new relationship rarely solves our relationship problems. We take ourselves everywhere we go. And new faces likely do little good until we deal honestly with the man in the mirror. 

And this is true as well when we constantly jump from one job, church, or city to the next, always hoping the next move will satisfy, but never really addressing the deep reasons for our dissatisfaction to begin with.

Likewise, we can buy the latest cars, dress in the most stylish clothes, and even surgically change how we look. But, by themselves, all of these things still don’t get at the heart of the issue. And we’re left merely rearranging the chairs on the Titanic until we discover and address the core motivations behind our desires. 

Of course, there’s generally nothing wrong with many of the quick fixes we pursue. But we must not confuse mere cosmetic changes with structural ones. A fresh coat of paint is only truly a nice touch when the structure and foundation of the house is also secure.

And we’re building our life on a sandy foundation whenever we simply settle for how things look on the surface without also doing the deeper dive into our souls. Once we do our inner work we have greater freedom to pursue many surface changes without merely dragging unhealed issues with us and compounding the problem. 

In the end, cosmetic changes can only take you so far. Ultimately, you can’t go around or bypass the inner work your soul needs. It takes a secure foundation to discover truly satisfying, and not merely pacifying, changes to your life and relationships. 

Photo by Anita Jankovic on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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