Some moments in life offer no second chances, no redos, and no opportunities to undo what was done. While we grieve, there’s no going back and we must learn to find our way forward.
To be fair, this is just the reality of time – always marching forward and never backwards. But often life comes with some chance to repeat opportunities all the same. For instance, we might repeat a course that we failed, apply again for a job after a botched interview, or take a rain check for a missed vacation. While not the exact same, there’s still a sense in which we get to make up what was lost.
But this is not always an option. For example, there are generally no do overs for weddings, funerals, graduations, or the like. These are ceremonies that happen once, and for better or worse, once they’re done, they’re done.
In the same way, a social gaffe or moral failure cannot be undone per se, regardless of how many times we replay the event in our mind and wish things were different. Of course, we should learn from our past, but this still doesn’t change it. And so we must learn to live well with it.
To be sure, this includes letting the grief of our past regrets change us for the better. Instead of letting shame or bitterness get the best of us for what was, we allow our gratitude to deepen for what is, as we also expand our hope for what’s still to come.
Like the death of a loved one, these missed opportunities or moments of regret, are not necessarily things we get over. And they will leave a certain scar on our hearts. But a scar is still a healed wound. While it tells the story of what we’ve been through, it no longer takes us out.
In the end, grieve what cannot be undone without giving into despair. While you cannot go back, hope remains. Let what was change you as you commit to still becoming all that God has for you.
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