We were created as sexual beings and we live in a highly sexualized culture. But it’s still rare for us to have open and honest dialogue with other men about the sexual part of our life. While we might freely joke with each other, we must also learn to talk freely about who we are as sexual beings in order to grow into God’s best.

Certainly, there’s a sacredness to our sexuality – not something everyone has the right or privilege to access. Many aspects are rightly kept private.

But honoring privacy should not be confused with secrecy. The sexual force is too strong and too mysterious not to regularly bring into the light through our relationship with other men.

We’re more likely to become internally divided and taken out when we don’t have trusted friends we can share our whole selves with.

Iron can only sharpen iron to the extent we wholeheartedly share and not keep significant portions of our life hidden.

Consider the following questions to get you started:

  1. What have you been thinking about sexually this week? This is just opening the door to meaningful and honest conversations. And, of course, it can include any sinful thoughts we might be struggling with, but also our everyday desires, hopes, dreams, disappointments and the like. The point is simply bringing the fullness of our sexuality out of the shadows and into the light.
  2. How did your sexual expressions reflect and express love this week? In what ways did they fall short? Is there anything you wish you could take back and do differently? Love remains the standard we’re pressing toward. But sometimes we miss the mark and it’s good to acknowledge this and repent as needed.
  3. Where did you feel most alive this week? And when did you feel most defeated or lacking? Many of our vices are a quest for more life and we must be aware of this need and intentional in our pursuit.
  4. What are you learning about yourself and sexuality that would be helpful for other men to know as well? Our story is not just about us. As God has helped us we are to help others in their time of need as well. And this is also part of our responsibility in teaching the next generation.

In the end, don’t let neglect keep your sexuality in the dark and take you out. Check in with each other regularly and discover the full power, light, and goodness available.

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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