Skip to main content

Our vitality is found in relationship with others and in our ability to stand on our own. While we need each other, we also need our independence.  We must fight for both our connection and our distinction.

Our bodies are made up of many different interrelated parts. Everything is connected, yet each part remains distinct.

This is how we are to function as well – intimately connected with others yet retaining our individuality.

We loose ourselves and the unique ways God created us when we merge with and conform to others. This can eventually lead us to feeling suffocated in relationships.

And we miss the refining quality of relationships if we remain too disconnected. In time, this can lead to feelings of isolation.

When we find ourselves leaning too far in one direction, we then tend to react by going to the opposite extreme.

People are too much. I’m out!

Don’t leave me! I’ll change to whatever you want.

While a perfect balance between togetherness and individuality may never be struck, we must seek to cultivate both.

This is true in marriage and friendship, with our extended family and work relationships, political affiliations, and even with the church.

In all of life it’s good to remember the ways we are connected with others while also remaining our own man.

This gives us the shared strength and wisdom of community, while providing the needed breathing room for us to make our unique contributions as well.

We miss our fullness if we consistently neglect one of these life forces for the other.

We need both – relationship, community, and connection, along with independence, autonomy, and individuality.

Throughout your life and relationships – connect deeply and remain distinct. It’s here we find the best version of ourselves.

Photo by Duy Pham on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

Leave a Reply