Some things are clearly not okay and there’s no doubt when we’ve crossed that line. At other times, the line is not so clear, at least externally, and we must sort through our often-complex heart attitudes to determine where we land. All the same, it’s tempting to focus so much on avoiding the line that we miss the direction we should be headed in to begin with. 

Of course, it’s helpful to have clear boundaries on the things we should avoid. It’s through clearly defining these boundaries that we learn what’s okay and not okay throughout our life and relationships. 

And, to be sure, we don’t want to play with fire to see how close we can get to the line without getting burned. But the point is not to pride ourselves in how far away from the line we can get either – because we’re still focusing on the line. 

The purpose of the boundary is to free us to focus on the things that truly matter – not to spend all our time worried about our relationship with the line. 

And so, for example, we learn to freely appreciate beauty rather than constantly worrying if this particular gaze is objectifying or not. Likewise, we grow to freely enjoy relating intimately with our sisters and brothers without the continual fear of these relationships becoming inappropriate. 

This is not to turn a blind eye to the potential dangers of crossing lines. But it is to orientate our hearts toward the light more than the darkness. And simply avoiding the darkness doesn’t give us the freedom to grow and enjoy the light. 

In the end, be very clear on what lines not to cross. And remember to live in freedom enjoying the good and beautiful of life rather than in fear of crossing the line.

Photo by Nadine Shaabana on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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