To hope is to be vulnerable. It exposes our unmet desires and the risk of not having them fulfilled. And particularly after deep hurts and disappointments, it’s tempting to shut our hearts down to desire and the hope of having them satisfied. But hope is the breath of life to our souls and we must dare to hope again and again to live to the full.
Of course, it’s easy to look forward to things before we’ve experienced deep wounds and heartache in the area of our deepest desires.
But after we’ve prayed and cried out to God to fulfill the desires of our heart, and one door after another seems to be shut in our face, it’s hard to allow our hearts to hope yet again.
We want to hope and believe our waiting is not in vain – that God is good and will answer the cries of our heart. But it’s true, hope deferred makes the heart sick and we don’t want to hurt anymore, nor do we know how much more our hearts can endure.
To hope is to desire – to want something we don’t yet have. And when this desire has left us burned and without, it often seems best not to want anymore. And, in our pain and grief, we often pray for God to take the desires of our heart away, while we do our best to kill them ourselves.
But these desires run deep. And to kill them is to kill a part of our own souls. While we might still go through the motions of life, we become essentially dead inside.
Our hearts must be fully alive to play our part in bringing more life and goodness into the world. And this means we must hold on to desire and dare to hope time and again even after we’ve experienced many hurts and disappointments.
Be kind to yourself when hope is deferred and your soul grows weary. Allow yourself to grieve what is not yet as you also dare to hope and look forward to the fulfillment of all good things.