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A challenge for many is learning how to discipline and bring their sexual energy under control – not chasing every whim and desire that gets stirred up. But sometimes we face the opposite challenge as well and we must not allow our sexual energy to remain hidden underground.

Certainly, it seems we’re prone to go to the extremes – either wasting our sexual energy in sinful pursuits or doing our best to limit its expression as best as we can.

And often a personal history of misuse, or simply the fear of it, makes us more likely to now play it safe and keep our sexual energy buried deep.

On the one hand, this seems like a wise and noble option – sacrificing ourselves so we don’t inadvertently cause pressure, harm, or offense to anyone else, namely our wife.

But often this means we wait on her to pursue us – not because we simply have the lower drive, but rather out of fear and not wanting to impose ourselves onto her. And this tends to leave her questioning our heart towards her.

As such, we remain anxious about being hypersexual and causing harm, while she is left wondering if she’s worthy enough to be pursued.

And like the lazy and wicked servant who fearfully hid what his master gave him, we too neglect our responsibility when we fearfully hold back our sexual energy.

Being sexually faithful requires much more than merely avoiding lust. True faithfulness also calls for us to fully engage our sexual self and learn how to use it for good.

And without a doubt this comes with many dangers and risks. But we must courageously dig up the hidden and neglected parts of our sexual self in order to live fully as the true sons of God.

Don’t waste your sexual energy by keeping it hidden. Boldly dig it up, cultivate it, and use it for good.

Photo by Tim Foster on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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