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It’s not wise to fully address every issue as soon as it happens. Many times it’s best to allow the dust to settle to know how to make the next best choice. But taking this time out is not sweeping issues under the rug. And we still have the responsibility to come back to the issues in a timely manner – not letting the sun go down on whatever has disrupted our soul and relationships. 

For instance, in the heat of the moment we’re prone to say and do things we regret later. And it’s generally best in these moments to take a break. And this pause is likely the most loving thing we can do when conversations are spiraling downwards and we’re becoming increasingly contemptuous toward each other. 

But often this break becomes a way of avoiding the issue. Perhaps we don’t know how to address our concerns without things escalating again. But ignoring, turning a blind eye, or otherwise letting the sun go down on the issue is not the answer. This only fuels bitterness and resentment. 

While it’s not always wise to try to force an immediate resolution, we don’t want to go to sleep on such intense emotions either. Rather, we keep coming back to them until they’re resolved and we’re at peace with each other.

To be sure, love takes as many breaks as needed. But it doesn’t walk away or ignore important issues. It keeps coming back time and again. This communicates dignity and respect to the other, and that our peace is worth fighting for together.

In the end, allow yourself to take a break whenever you feel you’re going to lose your cool and compromise your integrity. But don’t let the sun go down on the important matters of your heart and relationships. Keep coming back to them until peace is discovered. 

Photo by Aziz Acharki on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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