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We’ve been given the power to influence and change many things in life. And we should not hold back whenever we get the chance to make things better. But it’s also true that many things remain outside of our control and we must learn how to wisely face these unchangeable aspects of our life and relationships.

Of course, we should make every effort to fight the good fight and make changes for the good every chance we can. All too often we remain passive and let life just happen to us when it’s within our power to bring about needed change.

At the same time, there’s wisdom in accepting some things are unchangeable.

And it matters little to our response if the situation truly cannot change or simply will not change. In the end we must still learn to face a situation that is not changing.

For example, we might be part of a work culture that remains the same regardless of the number of meetings or memos generated to address issues.

Or we might find ourselves in a relationship with someone who is immature, self-centered, or outright toxic and who shows no signs of growth and maturity.

Likewise, we might be faced with unchanging health problems, social issues, or simply inconsiderate neighbors.

Whatever it looks like, facing the unchangeable is learning to change our relationship with that which is not changing.

We accept the situation for what it is and then figure out how we want to show up and dance with it. But this is now focusing on the choices we can make rather than trying to change the other.

Occasionally, this might mean walking away from a situation. But this is not always a viable option. And often we must come to find our peace with the situation as we discover how God might be using it in our journey of transformation.

In the end, there’s no need to get mad at a rock for not changing. Freedom is found in learning to dance with it and changing our relationship with that which is not changing.

Photo by Tim Foster on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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