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Daily we’re faced with countless situations that are not fair. And naturally we want them corrected as soon as possible. But many things remain outside of our control and we must learn to focus on the choices we can make.

For instance, when driving we can only control our vehicle. And it’s not fair when someone cuts us off or violates the rules of the road. And more than simply unfair, it’s dangerous.

Our anger stirs and it’s a righteous anger because these things should not take place.

But, in the end, we still only have control of our vehicle.

Of course, this doesn’t mean we remain passive. We’re free to maneuver ourselves as needed to protect life and limb.

Again, it’s not fair that someone else’s choices can have such a significant impact on us.

But there’s great wisdom in realizing we cannot control others. This frees us to focus on the choices we can make.

And this holds true throughout our life and relationships.

For example, it’s frustrating when a coworker is not pulling his weight, when we’re overlooked for a promotion, or when our wife continues to nag and get under our skin.

We don’t like what’s happening and we want it to change.

But we only add to our frustration and rob ourselves of our own freedom when we get stuck trying to change them.

Focusing on the choices we can make is not turning a blind eye to situations clearly not okay. But it is concentrating on the freedom and power we have to make a difference.

We can change how we show up in the dance. And perhaps decide if we want to continue dancing at all. But either way, these are choices we can make and we’re not desperately trying to change the other.

Don’t stay stuck worrying about others. Embrace your true freedom and power by focusing on the choices you can make.

Photo by Eugene Chystiakov on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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