Skip to main content

Love is a sacrifice. Time and again we give of ourselves to bring good to others. But love is also free – meaning this is a willing sacrifice and not something taken from us against our wills. And love is likely no longer our primary motivator when our gifts are no longer free. 

For instance, ideally, we work, help our kids with their homework, do chores around the house, and the like because of our love for our family. And there might be many moments we wish we could do anything else. But we’ve chosen to make the sacrifices of our time and energy to serve them. 

As a free gift, we don’t then blame them, allow resentment to grow, or constantly remind them of just how much we do for them. 

Of course, we can freely receive whatever acknowledgment and gratitude they offer. And we don’t have to minimize the cost required of us or otherwise pretend we’re overjoyed by the decisions made. To be sure, we might rightly be disappointed that we’re missing out on something else we wanted to do, even as we’re willing to choose to make this sacrifice for their sake. Our disappointment and willingness to love can exist at the same time. 

But, as a free gift of love, we’re not forwarding the cost required of us on to others. We made the decision to love and we’re willing to accept whatever cost comes with this. And we’re free to reconsider our decision if it becomes a cost we’re no longer willing to pay. 

We become increasingly bitter and angry when our gifts of love are no longer free. And this only strains our relationships with those we want to love. 

In the end, count the cost of love and be willing to pay this price yourself. Don’t make others pay for your gifts of love. Let these be your free gifts to them. 

Photo by Malte Helmhold on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

Leave a Reply