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Just because we can do something doesn’t mean we should. But we shouldn’t decline to do something just because we don’t want to do it either. We must learn to offer a good yes and a good no in whichever direction we choose to go.

For instance, our wife might ask for a special favor outside of our usual expressions of love, a friend or coworker might need help on a project, or we might be asked to volunteer at church or elsewhere in our community.

On the surface, the request is reasonable, and something we could do. But we must take our considerations deeper to make a wise and good choice. And a good choice is rooted in love and not merely preferences or how things might appear.

As such, a good yes not only blesses the other, but it also comes from our heart of service as well. And it’s not a good yes when we’re complaining the whole time while allowing bitterness and resentment to take root in our hearts. While our yes might appease the other, it’s not worth the cost when it darkens our heart. And it’s often best to say no in these moments.

But our no must not be uncritical either. A good no is one that protects our hearts from darkness and allows us to remain focused on the good God has called us to do. It’s a bad no when it simply promotes our own selfishness and allows us to conveniently neglect showing up for others in their time of need.

Whatever it looks like, it’s the heart behind our yes, or our no, that matters the most. And blindly caving in or rejecting the requests of others often causes more harm than good in the long run.

Let your yes and your no be good by keeping it grounded in love. This protects your heart from darkness and becomes a true blessing for others as well.

Photo by Rock Staar on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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