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Our relationships are often filled with many difficult, complex, and embarrassing issues. And it’s tempting to just sweep everything under the rug when we don’t know how to find our way forward. But this tends to simply compound the issues. The wise approach is keeping the issues out in the light of day even when we don’t know how to resolve it today.

To be sure, we should pursue the quick and easy answers to relational problems whenever they’re available. There’s no point in letting things linger when a resolution is readily available and simply waiting on our intentional application.

At the same time, many conflicts don’t have immediate answers and it takes a while to sort through. And these are often more difficult because there’s more going on than the surface events.

For instance, conflicts about money, sex, and in-laws are rarely just about these things. There are often many important heart issues also being triggered beneath the waterline. And this is why ignoring these problems only makes things worse.

Unacknowledged problems fester beneath the surface and grow like cancer. While everything looks good on the surface, bitterness and resentment are taking root in our souls.

Keeping things out in the light of day is not expecting simplistic answers to complex problems.  And much patience is required as things are sorted through. But patience is not giving up the fight to figure it out. We’re not going to sleep on the issue – pretending everything is okay. Rather, we simply keep it on the table of our considerations, and in our conversations, even if it’s just acknowledging its presence.

We allow evil to take advantage of us when we keep important issues in the dark.

In the end, wisely consider the best time to address relational problems. But don’t sweep things under the rug and allow bitterness to take root in your heart. Keep important issues out in the light of day even when it takes time to find your way forward.

Photo by Jad Limcaco on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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