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Early on we came to believe we were valued solely based on what we had to offer others. If we could play the parts they desired then maybe they would love and accept us. While we have much to offer, we also have an inherent worth not dependent on the various roles we play.

As kids, we desperately seek the approval of parents and those we look up to.

This is very appropriate and part of how we learn to navigate the world. We learn what is okay and not okay based on the reactions of those around us.

And this carries on into adolescence and young adulthood as we look to our peer group to find our place in the world.

Perhaps we find acceptance through our charm, wit, or physical prowess. Whatever the case, our gift gives us affirmation and a sense of being loved by others.

And because our true gifts are acknowledged it’s very easy to then equate our gifting with our identity and worth. I am my gift and I am loved because of what I have to offer.

This message is so old in our story we tend to accept it as a foundational truth without question.

But we must regularly step back and consider again our basic assumptions.

While our gifts are intended to bring much good, our value and worth is not dependent on our particular gifting.

We are created in the image of God and have been declared the true sons of God. In short, we have an inherent worth independent of the various roles we play in our life and relationships.

Remembering this allows us to freely offer our gifts without making them an idol.

Instead of redoubling our efforts to impress we can now simply rest in the truth of who we are.

Diligently offer your gift while remembering your inherent worth.

Photo by Chris Benson on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024


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