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Marriage is risky

Recently, I’ve been asked this question in so many words in several different contexts. Is marriage still worth it, particularly when there are no guarantees and someone is essentially free to walk away whenever they please?

It is a good question because it invites us to reflect on the meaning of marriage to begin with. In our modern culture, we’re often conditioned to view marriage from a very individualistic lens. And a lot of the pop culture advice on marriage is simply do whatever makes you happy. From this perspective, I’m marriage quickly becomes suspect when we realize that levels of heartache and grief are just part of the package and even more so when we realize that we can’t control the outcome.

Perhaps we’re willing to work through difficult seasons of our marriage but our spouse is not. And so do we take the risk to open our heart up to love when it makes us so vulnerable?

Is love worth it?

And so another way of asking the question is not simply is marriage worth it but also is love worth it.

And this brings a question to all of our relationships.

Is it worth it to love our family and friends and even our pets? God created us to reflect His love and we find our human dignity and glory when we’re able to practice and freely express love in all as many different ways.

Marriage serves as a light in a dark world

When it comes to marriage itself, marriage is a divine institution created to reflect the relationship between Christ and the church. And also serves as a witness of unity, of oneness, in a world prone to “irreconcilable differences.” And so for all our human shortcomings and sin that we might bring into a particular relationship, marriage still serves as a light in a dark world.

Marriage is not just about our own happiness

And in this way it is worth it because marriage is not just about our own happiness. It’s part of how we participate in the larger story that God is telling. It allows us to reflect His truth, His goodness, His beauty…through our very desires to get married and through the covenant relationship itself.

Marriage is not for the faint of heart

Marriage is certainly not an adventure for the faint of heart, but it is worth it for the sake of love and for the glory that God reveals through it.

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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