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We see the world from our perspective and assume others do the same.  And so we tend to quickly judge others based on these assumptions rather than humbly considering their point of view. This becomes a point of pride as we start to look down on others for simply approaching life in a different way.

For instance, in marriage, it’s easy to judge our wife for nagging. But perhaps our pride makes this more of an issue than it needs to be. Because we don’t approach things in this way, we assume she shouldn’t either. But what if we could listen to her heart behind all the nagging? This is not excusing her bad behavior, but maybe we would respond differently if we heard her nagging as cries for connection, partnership, or simply to be chosen and wanted.  Our pride keeps us from getting to the heart of the matter. We judge her and want her to just do things our way.

But this is not how we ourselves want to be loved. While we might not be prone to nag, it hurts when we’re accused of not caring or our actions are otherwise misunderstood. She’s likely judging us in these moments from her own heart of pride. And our desire is to simply have the goodness of our heart affirmed and respected, even when we still have room to grow.

If this is the humility we want to receive from her, then this is the humility we need to extend as well. And, better yet, we show the way by setting the example ourselves.

We create an atmosphere of hostility and distrust when pride and prejudice gets the best of us.

In the end, don’t let pride cause you to judge others merely from your own perspective. Learn to humbly see things from their point of view as well, and open the door to love.

Photo by Tony Saiko on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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