Naturally we expected each other to grow and change for the better. And part of our duty to love is to encourage just this. But it’s no longer love to demand a leopard to change his spots. Instead we must learn to receive with deep gratitude when someone gives us all they have to give, like the widow did with her two mites.
For instance, of course we would want and expect our wife to grow in how she loves us. And holding back our desires would rob her of this opportunity, not to mention allow bitterness to grow in our own hearts. But we must still be mindful of the demands and expectations we place on her.
We each have our own language of love shaped by our own unique story. As such, our way of giving and receiving love becomes as ingrained to us as a leopard’s spots. On some fundamental level, our core desires and default expressions will remain the same for life. This is not an excuse not to grow or learn how to express love in a way others can receive it. But it is a recognition of our human limitations. We cannot be everything to everyone.
As we humbly recognize this limitation within ourselves, this frees us to extend this grace to others as well. And like the widow’s two mites, we learn to receive gifts of love for what they are rather than what they’re not.
Objectively, the amount the widow gave was very little. And often people’s effort to love us might just feel like a small drop in the bucket as well. But the widow gave all she had. And for this she was blessed. In the same way, we must learn to bless others when they’re giving us all they’re able to give.
This is not to deny our legitimate desires and needs. But it does free us to love others for who they are and what they’re able to give without growing resentful toward them.
In the end, learn to accept the limitations of others while receiving with deep gratitude the humble gifts of love they are able to offer.
