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We were created for relational union with others, and it is true it’s not good for man to be alone. But there are seasons in life that we find ourselves walking down very lonely roads. While disheartening on one level, it’s also an opportunity to discover a deeper union with God who will never leave us.

Of course, it’s only human to desire and seek out relationships in many ways. Perhaps we find connection in marriage, with our family and friends, or within our church community. And, to be sure, we need a village to surround us, as we should not put the full weight of our relational needs just in one or two places.

But even with many options for connection we can still find ourselves lonely at times. Our desire for connection doesn’t guarantee it will be consistently fulfilled in the way we might like.

For instance, sometimes our bid for connection is simply unrequited. And personal struggles, the demands of life, and certainly death in its many forms are other reasons a loved one might be unable to provide the connection our souls long for. But our hearts don’t stop aching just because there’s a rational reason to explain our current state of loneliness.

And we must be careful and watch where we’re tempted to turn to fill this ache. Overindulging in food and drink, mindlessly scrolling online, not to mention illicit connections, are all easy to give into when we’re desperate and lonely.

Ultimately, our souls are longing for that perfect union with God, and we must keep bringing our ache back to him. Of course, this doesn’t deny our need for embodied connections with others. But when our lonely heart finds its home with God, we’re free to enjoy all other relationships without undue pressure, demands, or expectations.

In the end, be gentle with yourself when you’re on lonely roads. You were created for relational union and this is worth fighting for, but it starts by remaining in union with God first.

Photo by Markus Gjengaar on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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