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Of course, every relationship comes with its normal give and take. We pour into others and it’s only reasonable to expect they will fill us up as well. But love doesn’t wait on perfectly balanced scales. And maturity calls for us to love without reservation.

All too often we approach our relationships like we approach the rest of life and simply buying services.

We pay a cost and then demand the other uphold their part of the bargain. And we feel justified in holding back our part when we believe they’ve neglected theirs.

And certainly, there are many times in which this arrangement is only just and fair.

But this is not always the case with love. In fact, sometimes love is not fair, as true love is not concerned with keeping score.

This doesn’t mean anything goes. And there’s still a place to hold each other accountable and disrupt the status quo as needed even in the service of love.

But fighting for each other’s best interest is not an excuse to withhold the ways in which we bless and provide for their good.

For example, mature love doesn’t hold back affection just because we’re not affirmed as much as we might like.

Nor do we refuse to make their dreams come true just because ours have remained unfulfilled.

In big and small ways, part of being perfect in love is remembering our acts of goodness are not depended on the other.

We love to the full because of who we are and as a humble reflection of God’s love toward us.

And, in the end, we hinder the power of true love when we treat goodness as a mere commodity to be given or withheld based on how satisfied we feel in the moment.

Practice love without reservation and give others a taste of God’s relentless love toward them as well.

Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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