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It takes a village to raise a child. And the same is true to grow a healthy and thriving marriage. We need meaningful others around us to grow into the best version of ourselves as a couple.

Life is not to be lived alone. And this remains true even once we get married.

Certainly, there’s a private side to our relationship and a sense in which everyone else is outside of “us” and the bond we have together. But this doesn’t mean we should become an island unto ourselves.

We need others throughout every season of our life together.

Of course, not everyone is safe or helpful to welcome into our community.

Some are outright toxic, immature, or simply not going in the same direction we are – holding different values in their life and marriage than ourselves.

And, as such, it’s often much easier just stick to ourselves and do our own thing.

But we lose much needed perspective and support when we do.

For instance, by ourselves, it’s tempting to believe we’re the only ones with enduring marital struggles. On the outside everyone else seems to have it figured out.

But, as we connect with others, we soon discover we all have our issues, though the particulars might vary. And this helps us to keep a proper perspective.

While we still have our work cut out for us, it’s comforting to know we’re not alone in the sweat equity needed to grow our marriage toward its best.

And it’s from our village that we also receive the support needed for the journey ahead.

Shared meals, and vacations, and simply spending time together allow us to speak into each other’s lives and build each other up. And we can also model and gain inspiration in loving well through our shared lives and stories together.

In the end, we shortchange the potential of our marriage when we don’t have a meaningful village around us.

Find your village and allow your marriage to thrive.

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Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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