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It’s easy to see the shortcomings in others and blame them for the problems in our life. And perhaps they do play a part in contributing to the heartaches we face. But it’s also helpful to consider if we’re actually the problem when we get the same results everywhere we go.

To be sure, life presents us with many hardships and struggles outside of our control. And many can’t seem to catch a break regardless of where they go.

But often our pride keeps us blind to the ways we contribute to the problems in our own life and relationships.

We’re to common denominator when everyone treats us the same way.

For instance, perhaps it’s our mindset or work ethic that’s the problem when every boss we have gives us a hard time.

It’s also good to consider how we might be pushing others away or lacking in self-respect when we feel abandoned or disrespected in every relationship.

Likewise, it’s probably time to go back to the drawing board when no one is buying our so-called good ideas.

Whatever it looks like, the consistent feedback from others usually highlights the areas we need to grow in.

While it’s tempting to keep blaming others, we will keep getting the same results until we finally confront the man in the mirror.

This is humbling. But it’s also our path toward growth and freedom.

We stay stuck when we don’t consider and take responsibility for our own contributions to the problems we face.

This is not to excuse others. But it is exercising our freedom to grow our life and relationships into God’s best.

In the end, remember everyone is not out to get you. A consistent pattern of hardships often reveals you’re the problem. Adjust accordingly.

Photo by Milan Popovic on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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