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Life comes with many burdens, expectations, and demands. And there are few pleasures that compare to being able to strip off all of these concerns – stepping outside of our everydayness to enjoy the flow of life through our very bodies. And this is part of what makes sex so appealing and even addictive at times. We long for and need regular moments to be naked and without shame. 

Sex is a powerful force and much more than merely scratching a hormonal itch. We keep coming back to drink from this well time and again because it touches our souls and not just our bodies. 

But in much of life we’re fragmented – wearing many different hats to meet the various needs we face. And while our true and wholehearted selves should still show up in all these moments, there’s also a sense in which we’re still playing the different roles life requires of us. 

However, in sex we get to strip off all of these roles and simply bare our naked and vulnerable souls with each other. And, to be sure, this is a double-edged sword. 

On the one hand, we get to experience freedom and delight. We can drop our masks and fill our souls up as we get to know and be known at deeper levels than normal everyday life allows. 

At the same time, being naked is vulnerable, and this comes with the risk of not knowing how the other will respond to us. As such, shame, embarrassment, and insecurities often keep us in hiding – perhaps still giving our bodies, but no longer our souls. But like drinking seawater, this does not ultimately satisfy and we end up simply chasing the buzz of sex without ever learning to drink deeply of its goodness. 

At its best, sex allows for regular moments to put off the stresses and burdens we carry in everyday life and gain a glimpse of the divine ecstasy we so deeply long for – a moment to be naked and without shame as we were in our original glory. 

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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