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Relationships are risky. There’s no guarantee we will not be hurt regardless of how much we work on things. The only way to avoid this risk is to avoid relationships altogether.

Of course, no one enters relationships wanting to be hurt or expecting things to end badly. We enter with great anticipation that this relationship will provide us with the love and belonging we deeply desire.

However, it doesn’t take us long to realize that any relationship is prone to bring pain and suffering into our life.

Sometimes this is small disappointments and misunderstandings, while at other times it’s major betrayals and rejection. And death comes to us all, which means we will all eventually face grief and loss.

Knowing these inherent risks we don’t do life with just any one. We naturally count the cost to ensure we’re not inviting unnecessary pain, suffering, and drama into our life.

But while it’s clear we should avoid certain relationships, we cannot ask enough questions or do enough pre-work to eliminate risk altogether.

An otherwise good and solid relationship still comes with the potential of much heartache and pain. And there’s no way to avoid this and still be in relationship.

Those wishing to avoid relational pain must then settle for the angst of loneliness.

And some try to have their cake and eat it too by settling for casual relationships – a taste of connection without the commitment and risk of going deeper.

Still others have their world turned completely upside down when they expect the guarantee of relational perfection and the other lets them down.

In the end, entering relationships with no guarantees is a statement of faith – we surrender our attempts to control outcomes and place our hope ultimately in God who causes all things to work together for our good.

Do your due diligence before investing into relationships. But remember there are no guarantees and all relationships come with risks. All the same, the love and belonging possible is worth the risk.

Photo by Kate Kozyrka on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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