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There’s a raw power infused in the masculine soul that must be tempered. This is not to castrate men and rob them of their power, but power unchecked causes much damage and heartache. Becoming a true gentleman allows us to wield this power effectively while still being kind and considerate of others.   

To be sure, part of being a man is simply possessing the strength to get things done. There’s a fire in our belly to leave our mark on the world. And even as little boys we relished in our power to make things happen – whether simply knocking over blocks or pretending we were a superhero. This power was eventually channeled into our work and various hobbies as we grew older, but there was still a seductive draw to knowing we possessed a certain weight and significance within the realm of our influence.  

And this quest for power is not inherently bad. But it needs to be checked and tempered with gentleness. 

Gentleness reminds us to handle our strength with care. Just because we can do something doesn’t mean we should, particularly if it causes harm to others. And so like a skilled surgeon, we use only the strength necessary for the moment. 

The point is not to become so gentle that we lose the essence of our masculinity – our power to make things happen. But our power becomes unstable and destructive without a healthy dose of gentleness. 

As gentlemen, we integrate both power and gentleness into our way of being and how we show up in the world. We’re not feared for the harm we might cause. But our gentleness is not confused with weakness either, and it’s clear we will do whatever it takes to protect and promote the good for all those around us. 

In the end, let your power to make things happen be tempered with gentleness – becoming a true gentleman, strong and capable yet also thoughtful and kind. 

Photo by JD Mason on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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