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Some things get under our skin more than others. And it’s not a coincidence when we react to certain buttons being pushed. Our buttons tell a story and provide clues to our inner world.

Of course, no one likes being called an insult. But some insults cause a stronger reaction in us than others. And this has more to do with what the insult means to us than whoever happens to be saying it.

For instance, being called lazy, stupid, or selfish will each resonate differently with us depending on our story.

Being called lazy might cut deep when we live in constant fear of never doing enough. But when we’re confident in what we’ve accomplished, it’s much easier to let this insult go. We already know we’re not lazy and we don’t have to prove this to anyone.

Likewise, being called stupid or selfish stings when it touches a nerve in our own story. But these don’t bother us as much when we’re at peace with our level of intelligence and generosity.

Whatever the insult, it’s a clue to the underlying movements of our heart when it pushes our buttons. And while there’s a time to address those insulting us, it’s often best to deal with our own heart issues first.

Why does this insult affect me so much? And how is it related to my story and the lies I’ve believed about myself?

We can effectively neutralize insults when we’re confidently living the life God has given us to live. This is not to say they won’t bother us at all, but its intensity is greatly diminished when we remember who we are.

We’re prone to keep trading insults with increasing levels of hatred when we don’t understand the story behind our own buttons.

In the end, don’t merely react when your buttons are pushed. Learn to listen to the story behind your buttons and find the inner peace allowing you to extinguish the insults of others.

Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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