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In moments of distress we just want relief. And we’re tempted to accept any quick fix that promises to put our suffering behind us. But true transformation comes with a cost and we must eventually pay the piper.

Of course, we’d love to have our cake and eat it too, but this is not how life works. And the peace, freedom, and joy our souls long for require us to pay the price – doing the work necessary to fight for these things in our life.

For instance, when we’ve said or done something to cause harm to others, it’s not enough to simply commit to not doing it again and expect others to just forget and move on. While we don’t want to live in the past, there are still consequences to our actions that must be dealt with. In fact, we’re not paying the piper when we expect forgiveness too quickly.

Paying the piper here is simply recognizing our need to intentionally make amends. This is not living in the shame of condemnation, but it is humbling accepting the cost of the harm we’ve caused.

Likewise, we’re offered many relationship tips and life hacks to make life better. And while these have some benefit, we must still eventually do the work of confronting the man in the mirror. We cannot sustain the life we want to live without doing the work of growing up ourselves.

Whatever it looks like, we unwittingly rob ourselves of our potential when we don’t pay the piper. We settle for what we can get away with rather than accepting the full responsibility and cost of the life we want to live.

And while we might be able to ignore this cost for a time, the consequences of our neglect will eventually catch up with us. And the price we pay later is often much greater than if we had just paid upfront.

In the end, don’t ignore the cost required to build the life and relationships you desire. You invite even greater consequences when you don’t pay the piper.

Photo by Richard Sagredo on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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