When the Prodigal Son Now Plays It Safe

See if this sounds familiar.

You grew up in a Christian home, and though your parents weren’t perfect, they did their best to teach you right from wrong.

Not much was said when it came to sex. While your parents may have given you “the talk” or a few books, sex was mostly something you had to figure out on your own.

 Looking back now at your early sexual experiences, there are many decisions you wish you could redo. In fact, you try not to think too much about your past because of the shame and guilt it stirs up. After all, you knew better, but still allowed yourself to be overcome time and again by your sexual desires. 

As you continued to mature in your faith, things are different now. You no longer want to use your sexuality in sinful pursuits.

For all practical purposes, you are the good Christian boy again…you may even have filters on your devices and regularly check in with other guys about your ongoing struggles with lust.

You’ve been out there and know exactly how dangerous and unfulfilling sexuality can be when mishandled. Any risk of falling back into your old ways is not worth it. Somewhere in your heart you decided to play it safe with your sexuality from now on. And everything seems good.

When sexual desires stir you remind yourself there’s more important things to life, and redirect your energy into working out, building your career, or the like.

If married, sex with your wife is mostly routine, if present at all. When thoughts and fantasies from your past arise you quickly dismiss them, not wanting them to soil your wife or your marriage bed. You are very careful to keep the past in the past.

You’re not sure why your wife isn’t really into your lovemaking and why she complains about wanting more emotional connection. Many days it seems like you’re just roommates, good friends and even co-parents, but not lovers.

In your more honest moments, it may even seem like much of your life is simply going through the motions – working, paying bills, raising kids, helping out at the church, and the occasional vacation, but certainly nothing that would be considered epic.