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It’s not about the flowers, chocolates, or candlelit dinners. These things are nice, but are often only shallow expressions of romance. True romance is pursuing the heart of the one we love.

God is the Great Romancer and creation is part of how he woos us. He turns our hearts toward his through the beauty of sunsets, the grandeur of mountains, and the quiet magic of snowfall.

We get to enjoy the many delights of creation as an expression of God’s passionate desire for us.

And this is how we engage in the dance of romance as well.

There’s nothing wrong, for example, with buying cards and jewelry to romance our wives.

But all too often we’ve merely fallen into the commercialized versions of romance – believing we’ve fulfilled our duty by simply buying whatever token gift was expected.

And we’ve completely missed the point if our actions are not also with the intent of pursuing her heart.

This is why even the most elaborate of gifts can still leave her feeling unfulfilled and ourselves frustrated for being unable to satisfy her.

We must pursue her heart.

What allows her to feel loved, thought of, and uniquely cared for? What stirs her heart and lets her know without a doubt that our heart toward her is good?

Is this not how God has pursued us?

But the answer might not be found at our local store or neighborhood restaurant.

Again, these things are fine, but it must go deeper.

For instance, rather than just getting generic flowers, it’s learning and finding her favorite flower. Or knowing that she doesn’t care for flowers at all and would prefer instead to take a walk or go dancing.

Whatever the expression, don’t merely go through the motions. Communicate your delight and heart for the one you love.

This pursuit is true romance.

Photo by Clarisse Meyer on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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