There’s no neutral in the forming of our sexual selves. We’re either being formed to reflect more of God’s truth, goodness, and beauty, or we’re not – allowing instead for our sexual selves to be deformed and corrupted by the things of this world. Sexual formation is the lifelong journey of developing our vision, disciplining ourselves to engage in right action, and allowing our souls to fill with joy as we celebrate the gift of our sexuality.

To be fair, beyond the basic mechanics of sex, most of us never had intentional teachers or mentors in the sexual part of our life. We were left on our own to piece together what we could from the silence, pornography, and the latest cultural trends. And this is why our sexual formation must start with cultivating our vision and deepening our understanding of why God created our sexuality to begin with. It’s only with this clear vision of what’s true that we’re able to confidently resist adopting the sexual depravity of the world. 

But it’s also not enough to merely know what’s true if we don’t also align our lived experiences with this reality. And this is where discipline comes in. We quickly reject any behavior or lifestyle that is unbecoming of God’s holiness. At the same time, we commit to doing those actions that allow our sexuality to be true expressions of love. To be sure, discipline keeps us on that narrow path that leads toward life and goodness even when we’re tempted to do otherwise.

All the same, this discipline is to help us drink deeply of the life and power of God. And the fruit of this is to have a river of joy flowing through our very body and soul. We’ve missed the mark when our sexuality is seen just as a dry obligation driven by fear. The true beauty of our sexuality becomes evident when it’s also a point of celebration with heartfelt gratitude.

In the end, sexual formation is not optional. Be intentional about the direction in which your sexual self is being shaped – committing to aligning it with God’s truth, goodness, and beauty.

Photo by Kelvin Valerio on Pexels

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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