Actively choosing to follow someone else’s agenda communicates value and worth. It says their reality matters enough for us to go along with it.

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A Gentile woman once approached Jesus asking for her daughter to be healed. At first, Jesus did not even reply to her. Later he had compassion on her and granted her request.

He was willing to be influenced and freely offered himself at someone’s request.

This is love – willing to accept the influence of others and enter into their reality with compassion and generosity.

As men, we do not always have to push our agenda. Sometimes the best use of our strength is in service of someone else’s request.

For example, we may take a walk, watch a romantic comedy, or attend a dancing class simply at the request of our wife.

In doing so, we communicate her desires and wishes matter to us.

However, the key to going along in love is making an active choice.

This is not passive compliance to someone else’s wishes. A compulsive need to appease others is not love.

While others might enjoy us never rocking the boat for a time, eventually they realize our strength cannot be trusted.

Avoiding conflict communicates we are simply immature men who want to be liked at all cost, and not mature men who are actively affirming the other’s perspective.

Going along in love is an intentional choice to move toward the other – to affirm them, to bless them, and to communicate their created goodness.

I see you. You matter. I add my ‘Yes’ to your ‘Yes’ and bless all that God has created you to be.

Don’t merely go along to get along. However, be willing to go along when it is an intentional choice to love and honor the other.

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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