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Jesus turning over tables and driving out the merchants in the Temple is typically not our go-to example to teach men on love. However, because Jesus is love, somehow even this aggressive act shows divine love, and has something to teach us as men. Sometimes love is aggressive.

We tend to think of love as being sweet, gentle, and yielding to the preferences of others. Love can certainly be these things. At the same time, there are moments in which love must be disruptive and forceful, willing to shake up the status quo in order to bring about good.

Jesus in the Temple

This is Jesus cleansing the Temple. This was not a moment to be polite and yielding. It was a moment that called for his disruptive strength. And yet, it is also clear his strength was used for the good of others.

He became aggressive in forcing out the merchants so that the blind and crippled could get in and be healed. This was not a selfish display of strength – it was love, even in its aggression.

Husbands in Marriage

There are times as men and as husbands in which we must also be aggressive in our displays of love. For instance, marriage was designed for two to become one. However, if we find ourselves living merely as roommates, it may be time to disrupt this status quo. Likewise, if tough conversations are regularly avoided, it might be time to shake things up in order for our marriage to truly heal and grow.

Being aggressive in our love is not abusive. There is no hint of ill will or harm toward our wives here. Aggressive love seeks the good of the other – willing to overturn complacency, stagnation, and avoidance, or anything else that blocks God’s goodness for us.


Don’t let anything block you from God’s best for your marriage. As needed, be aggressive in your service of love.

Photo credit: Andrey Mironov 777Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, Link

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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