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Young and old, we not only crave touch, our wellbeing depends on it. Touch is a basic need. But unfortunately, the art of touching is often neglected, which leads to feelings of disconnection and loneliness.

Touching is intimacy without speaking a word. It confirms our presence to another and theirs to us.

And not just with people – touch is how we know and navigate the world around us. We rely on touch to work and to eat, for comfort and to protect ourselves from harm.

Touch allows us to literally stay connected with life itself.

Despite its importance, we seem to have an ambivalent relationship with touch.

It’s okay for babies and little children, but as adults intentional touch is generally limited to sexual expressions.

All too often sex is the only way we know how to satisfy our touch hunger. But such a limited meal still leaves us out of touch and lonely in the ways we most deeply desire.

We want our souls touched and not just our bodies.

As adults we must relearn the art of touching outside of the bedroom – getting reacquainted with ourselves as fully sensual beings.

This might include more hugs, pats, or just sitting next to each other and letting our bodies touch.

It can also include simply slowing down to gaze and appreciate the physical form of the other, or taking the time to listen to their voice.

Outside of our human relationships, we might actually stop to smell the roses as a way to be in touch with the world around us.

All these certainly have benefits in their own right. At the same time, as we grow in staying in touch outside of the bedroom, we also deepen our capacity to be fully present inside. It becomes who we are and plays out in every area of life.

In the end, touch provides us with a mysterious yet profound connection in our life and relationships.

Learn the art of touching and bring health to your body and soul.

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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