We all want to know we have what it takes. And perhaps this runs particularly deep when it comes to our sexual selves. But the fear of appearing foolish or ignorant can eventually lead to a pride that blocks us from experiencing God’s best.
For instance, we often assume because sex is natural that we should naturally know what to do to send our wife over the moon in ecstasy without being taught. While we might secretly turn to pornography or crude jokes to learn about sex, our pride often keeps us from turning to trusted, qualified sources, or even having meaningful conversations with our wife. And, to be sure, our wife will be our best teacher regarding her own sexuality.
We shoot ourselves in the foot when pride keeps us from humbly admitting what we don’t know and taking the posture of a student willing to learn. And despite how much we pretend we know, we’re often just hiding behind our bravado and blame.
On the one hand, our ability to bring pleasure to our wife becomes less about loving her and more about our own desperate need for validation. We want to show off our sexual skills to prove (mostly to ourselves) that we are the man.
On the other hand, we’re then prone to blame our wife for her lack of interest and passion when she doesn’t respond to our advances in the way we think she should. And our pride keeps us from even considering that maybe we’re the problem, with much to learn ourselves.
Of course, we want to know we have what it takes and there’s a place for sexual confidence – boldly offering and enjoying who we are as sexual beings. But confidence is forged through the path of humility, not pride.
In the end, there’s no need to fake confidence. Humble your pride and allow yourself to be teachable. This is the path to true confidence and a fulfilling sex life.
Photo by Valerie Elash on Unsplash
