We all participate in the circle of life. Many have preceded us in death, and there will be those who are left behind to cherish our memories after we’re gone. But those we are “survived by” should not be considered generic, but rather personal and meaningful. And the life we live will determine who will miss us when we’re gone.
To be sure, we didn’t choose the day of our birth, or the family we would be born into. We entered this world as the continuation of someone else’s story. And generally, these will be those who precede us in death – parents, grandparents, and the like. Though, of course, we might also have to endure the tragedy of losing our wife, friend, or, God forbid, one of our children. All the same, we live on to tell the story. And it’s up to us to play our part for the sake of those who will still be survived by us, which is ultimately a question of forging meaningful relationships.
Certainly, our work is important and worthy of our many sacrifices. But, at its best, the impact of our work is a means to love. And so, while there’s a sense in which the work we do might survive us, it’s all meaningless unless it’s also bringing more life and goodness into the world for others. At the same time, our work will not grieve our loss once we’re gone.
Grief resides in the domain of personal relationships. To whom did we give our heart and do life with? We will intersect with countless people throughout our life. But it’s those we forged bonds of love with who will hold the memory of our story long after we’re gone.
In the end, there’s not much choice in who will proceed us in death. But how we live and the bonds of love we form will help determine who we’re survived by.
