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We all long to know we’re doing a good job – to know we’re making the grade throughout our life and relationships. But while we need feedback from others, all too often we’ve given others our report card and allow them to determine our worth.

This happens, for instance, when we spend all our efforts trying to please someone and make them happy. We want to meet their expectations and are diligent to do whatever it takes to win their approval.

Often our efforts are well meaning, and the other might be genuinely flattered, at least initially.

But eventually this leads us to losing ourselves in the relationship and the other losing respect of us.

We’re likely to find we will always come up short when someone else holds our report card. The goal post is constantly moving and we’re never able to completely satisfy the demands and expectations.

As such, we walk around on eggshells and neglect important parts of who we are – desperately trying to appease the other as we compromise our integrity in the process.

While some might enjoy having this control over us, it doesn’t make room for mutual respect. And in time, any resemblance of a healthy adult relationship breaks down – paving the way for outright contempt and disdain toward us.

To take our report card back doesn’t mean we grow indifferent to feedback from others

But we filter this feedback through our own standards – holding ourselves accountable for living faithful lives before God.

This frees us to truly love and not merely try to make others happy.

Don’t let others be the ultimate judge of your worth and efforts. Take back your report card and live faithfully in all that God has called you to be.

Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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