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We generally think of pursuing relationships with those who are similar to us – birds of a feather. And there’s much wisdom here as it helps us to form a common ground for our relationships. But there’s a place to complement each other as well, as we learn to dance with our opposite.

To be sure, we want to share core values and beliefs with those we do life with, those in our inner circle. This is the essence of being equally yoked. At a fundamental level our bedrock truths allow us to travel in the same direction without requiring us to compromise important aspects of who we are or the work God has called us to do.

But this doesn’t mean we should expect or desire sameness in every other aspect of life. In fact, differences often serve us better in the rest of life because they allow us to complement each other and become stronger together.

For instance, someone who is more logical benefits by being in a relationship with those who are more in tune with their feelings, and vice versa. Each gets to offer their strength to minimize the blind spots of the other – making a powerful partnership. And the same can be true when free spirits and those who are highly organized partner together, as well as when those who speak love in the language of gifts are partnered with those who speak in the language of quality time.  Whatever it looks like, being matched with our opposite allows us to be sharpened and refined in ways that would not happen otherwise if we were merely surrounded by those exactly like us.

In the end, fight for shared values in your inner circle. Life is much easier when you don’t compromise your integrity. And learn also the wisdom of dancing with your opposite – being blessed by partnering with those who are different from you.

Photo by Dolo Iglesias on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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