To focus on toxic masculinity misses the true essence of masculinity.

Of course, there are elements of masculinity, and femininity for that matter, that are “toxic.” That is, there is much in our expression of humanity that is not as it should be and causes much harm, and this includes the expression of our gender.

While many men and women are suffering due to the crisis in masculinity, we must be careful not to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

The crisis as I see it is not toxic masculinity; this is just the symptom of a deeper issue. The crisis I see in masculinity is a generation of uninitiated and undertrained men.

The answer to all the harm caused by masculinity is not to beat men up or to tell them that a core essence of their being is somehow inherently flawed. The solution is in training, mentoring, and coaching men toward becoming better men.

I believe most men want to be good. They need someone to show them how.

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