No one likes having his soul crushed. And because we cannot escape the many disappointments of this life, it often seems easier simply to shut our hearts down and not want so much. And in many ways it is easier, but it also comes with a high cost. To be sure, there’s a vulnerability to desire, but this is also our path to discovering life to the full.

For example, while kids are generally unapologetic in their desires, as adults we tend to filter, hold back, or otherwise feel guilty about what makes us come alive. And perhaps some of this is maturity, as we learn we’re not the center of the universe and we cannot have everything we want. But much of this also seems to stem from the fear of not wanting to be hurt again.

As such, we start walling off our heart and simply deferring to the expectations of others. We reason we can hold onto the love and belonging we desire if we could just keep others happy. And, here again, looking out for the interest of others is a good thing, but all too often we lose ourselves and become disconnected from our own hearts as we do.

To desire is to be vulnerable because we don’t know how our desires will be received or even if they will be fulfilled at all. And yet without desire we cannot discover and fully enjoy the life and relationships we were created for.

This doesn’t mean we have to live with our hearts on our sleeves. There’s much wisdom in protecting our hearts from unnecessary harm. But we must be courageous enough to name and put our desires on the table to make a meaningful impact in the world around us. We remain impotent without a deep and passionate desire to inspire us. 

In the end, take the risk to live with your desires fully intact. You need your whole heart to bring more life and goodness into the world, even when doing so is vulnerable.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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