Skip to main content

Often we see clearly the changes others need to make. And it’s tempting to refuse to do our part until they uphold theirs. But this waiting on others only keeps the relationship stuck and holds us back personally.

It’s only natural to desire mutual accountability. And certainly it’s not fair to expect us to initiate change when the other is not.

But the problem is not simply wanting the other to change or even in correctly naming the areas they should address.

The problem comes when we’re only waiting and not yet taking a step toward change ourselves.

Perhaps more often than not we find ourselves both waiting on each other. We both have things we want to see different, but we’re not willing to do our part until the other commits to doing theirs.

As such, the relationship stalls – having the same conversation over and over with each demanding and waiting on change from the other.

Without excusing others, we must focus on the choices we can make. And it becomes a point of integrity to show up and do our part even when others are not doing theirs.

This is not fair, but it remains our responsibility.

Rather than give up the freedom and power we have to change, we can commit to doing our part. And this first step is often enough to motivate others to do the same.

But even if they don’t, our commitment keeps us from getting stuck and compromising our integrity. We continue to move toward God’s best even when others do not.

There’s much freedom and joy on this path.

Don’t wait for others to make changes. Commit to becoming the best version of yourself even when others don’t.

Photo by TJ Dragotta on Unsplash

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

Leave a Reply