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Many times we speak for our benefit and not the other. And we can often find ourselves saying more than what’s necessary when pride gets the best of us. While speaking the truth, we must also filter our words through love to ensure we’re building each other up rather than tearing each other down.

For instance, someone might do something kind that we believe they should’ve been doing all along. However true this might be, a simple “thank you” in the moment would be sufficient. It’s no longer love when we patronize their efforts and leave them feeling humiliated.

Likewise, when someone makes a request we’re not interested in, often just a “no, thank you” would do. And we’re likely stepping out of the realm of love when we start accusing them of asking from the wrong motives. While their heart attitudes might need polishing, this is hard to hear when our words are dismissive and judging.

And when someone does something we don’t like we might consider if anything needs to be said at all. To be sure, we don’t want to sweep issues under the rug and pretend they’re not an issue. But wisdom also reminds us that some things don’t matter in the long run. And when it’s an honest mistake, perhaps the most loving thing to do at times is to just let it go.

Whatever it looks like, our task is to ensure our words are words of life, and not of death. While we might technically be correct on an issue, we still err when our words are not soaked in love.

In the end, learn to say only what’s necessary to promote love. Anything more is likely the sin of pride.

Photo by Pavel Danilyuk on Pexels

Dr. Corey Carlisle

Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist - providing Christian counseling and soul care to individuals and couples, with a special emphasis on developing the masculine soul. Suwanee, GA 30024

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