Porn and the Hairy Wild Man

Does porn (or prostitution, affairs, and other forms of illicit sex) serve as a poor attempt to access the wild, hairy side of our sexual selves, a quest for heighten levels of eroticism that are deemed inappropriate for the niceness and tameness of marital sexuality and societal expectations? It is the mask of pseudo-intimacy and quasi-eroticism that removes the possibility of being seen.

In combating porn, is it possible then that what needs to be “put on” is the “wild, hairy” side of the Self, pursing both heighten intimacy and eroticism?

How do we redeem even the wild and hairy side of our sexuality, bringing it to the light and not keeping it locked away?

While wildness, by definition, is not tame, it should not be feared.

The wildness, the freedom, and the power that is to be embraced here is not for selfish-indulgence, but rather for benevolent responsibility toward others, namely our Eve; it wills the good and brings life into our sexual relationship; it is not a carte blanche energy that has no concern for the hearts involved simply because it is “wild.”

Yes, it is wild, but it is governed by Love.


Read more about the Wild Man in Robert Bly’s

Iron John: A Book About Men

As a counselor, my passion is to help others reach their full God-given potential relationally, sexually, and spiritually. I do this by creating a personal space for individuals and couples, free from the demands of others, to thoughtfully attend to the important and sensitive areas of their life. I work as an ordained Christian minister, licensed marriage and family therapist, and certified sex therapist in private practice in Suwanee, GA.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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